i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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