i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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