Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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