are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
