Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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