i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize