i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
