I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
