She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
