you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
