Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize