You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize