is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
