Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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