If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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