Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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