remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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