i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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