ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize