i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
