i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize