At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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