hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
