dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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