Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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