Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
