they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
