i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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