it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
