Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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