What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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