Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
