Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
