The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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