is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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