I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
