Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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