Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize