That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
