you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
