Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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