So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
