she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
