Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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