people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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