I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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