I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
