So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize