Say something about gay babies.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
