shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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