Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize