I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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