hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
