i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
