Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
