God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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