On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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