I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
