I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
