The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Success! We fucked roommates!
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