I will die if light touches me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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