What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
