Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
me + whiskey = a bad person
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
