i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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