I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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