Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
