I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
