I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
