Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
