We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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