So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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