Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
