On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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