Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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