Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
