a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
