put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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